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POLITICOWS!!!

my high school gov't professor had this poster in her classroom, and i just remembered it.

there's a poster that goes along with this, but i don't know how to add images to an lj post, so here: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_c11xtdJHdgk/SOW_gtv_OUI/AAAAAAAAA9g/P75km5zefUE/s400/E-cow-nomics+Poster.jpg that appears to be an economics version, actually, but whatever.

Politicows
A bovine guide to political theory

Feudalism : You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism : You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure socialism : You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

Pure communism : You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you share the milk.

Bureaucratic socialism : You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

Russian communism : You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

Pure democracy : You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative democracy : You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

American democracy : The government promises you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow features.

Capitalism : You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Hong Kong capitalism : You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using the letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with associated general offer so that you will get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.

Totalitarianism : You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Anarchy : You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

Dictatorship : You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Surrealism : You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Date: 2009-07-21 10:50 pm (UTC)
pronker: barnabas and angelique vibing (2mers)
From: [personal profile] pronker
Feng shui and cows. This is great@!@

Date: 2009-07-22 05:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jen-chan13.livejournal.com
yeah, the hong kong capitalism example was particularly amusing.

my fiance and i often get into discussions of political and economic theory, and i'm at a disadvantage because he likes to read up on that kind of thing as well as current events, and i don't so much... *eyeroll* i often think of this little cheat-sheet when we're in the thick of things and debating definitions.

Date: 2009-07-22 06:04 am (UTC)
pronker: barnabas and angelique vibing (Default)
From: [personal profile] pronker
I've found humor to be a wonderfully effective mnemonic device to remember things that don't excite our passions, but that we are called upon to debate or converse about. It would be boring to have things all our own way.

Date: 2009-07-22 06:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jen-chan13.livejournal.com
(mnemonic? ^___^ i had to look that one up!) the SOHCAHTOA rhyme is another perfect example, it's very true. *lol*

you're right, it's just as much fun to be proven wrong as to be proven right. i enjoy the debate more than the outcome, most of the time. and he's really brilliant, so i don't feel bad when he walks all over me with logic. ^___^

Date: 2009-07-22 03:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catc10.livejournal.com
OMG!!! I used to have this same poster in...wait...did you have that one teacher with the dell-supported tech room? Because I think I had that same teacher...
ME

Date: 2009-07-22 05:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jen-chan13.livejournal.com
yes! what was her name....??? *wracks brain* she was blonde and getting married in scotland, y/y?

Date: 2009-07-22 12:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catc10.livejournal.com
I don't remember, but she had the tech room, yeah? So everyone would take quizzes by remote and dick around on the internet when we weren't supposed to?
ME

Date: 2009-07-22 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jen-chan13.livejournal.com
hahaha, yes, totally. and lj. i think i actually made my first ever lj post on one of the laptops in her classroom.

that was so long ago. wow.....

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